On #WomenTalkSex this week, we speak to a baddie who says she doesn’t like half-assing anything – her job, friendships and even her sxe life. This attitude makes it difficult for her to tolerate men who say a lot about sex but do so little. “Well, if you actually think about it, this sounds very on-brand for men: big ego on very little substance,” she says.
Tell me about the time you realised what sex was
We were watching a film and my mum told me to close my eyes when it got to the part where the actors were kissing but my dad just started laughing because he felt my mum was wasting her time. To him, I already knew about sex from school already.
How old were you at this point?
Can’t remember for sure but I was still in Primary school.
And did you already know about sex at that point?
Yeah. Kinda. Whispered conversations with classmates and films already gave me an idea. So my mum was just there deceiving herself. LOL
How about the first time you had sex. Can you remember it?
To be honest, I cannot remember the details. It’s weird, isn’t it? I can’t remember it at all.
Maybe not weird… I think interesting is more like it
What’s something you love about your current sex life though?
How good I’ve gotten at it. I guess I can proudly say I’ve grown at it. LOL. Most of the people I’ve been with always have nothing but the best things to say. It’s crazy. Even those that don’t expressly state it, I can tell that I rank highly in the list of the best sex they’ve ever had by how much they always make moves for another time. This applies to the flings and casual sex partners I’ve had mostly. Whenever I’ve dated anyone, our sex life would usually be 10/10. The worst rating I or any of the people I’ve dated would be 8.5 I am sure of it. LOL.
Why do you think your game is this tight?
I guess it has to do with the fact that I don’t believe in half-assing anything. I mean, when I decided to start having sex, I knew I wanted to get good at it and I always hoped to meet the best people who would also match my desire for great sex. I always want to get it as good as I give it. If I am going to suck at it, I might as well not be doing it at all – and this applies even to my professional life. So I think that helped me become really open-minded and relaxed about sex and invariably, I got better at it. Bad knacks is worse than no knacks.
LOL. Word on the marble. Have there been episodes in your sex life that you didn’t like though?
Well, I don’t think you can be sexually active with multiple people over a period of 10+ years without having some of those. Bear in mind also that it’s Nigerian partners I’ve had, so of course, that increases the chances of bad experiences.
Does any particular one come to mind?
The most recent one – and this was only 2 weeks ago – was this guy who had been trying to smash for a while. So we somehow met at a spot on Friday and he started working his game again, trying to get me to go home with him. The night was fun sha and it was getting late so I said fuck it, let’s end the night at your place. See, let’s just say I regret that decision. The sex was mid and he didn’t know how to use his fingers or even his tongue well. Even when we did one for the road on Saturday morning, it was the same. The only reason why I didn’t block him was that he has always been a nice guy and was actually willing to please. Baba just didn’t know how. Do you know how embarrassing it is? You’re a 34-year-old-man with a face full of beards, sir. How do you not know these basic things at your big age?
Sorry. Don’t be annoyed
LMAO. It wasn’t even funny. But me being the satisfier that I am, I did all I could for him sha – and I hate myself for that. I always like to bring my A-game.
There’s nothing wrong with that nau
When the guy’s got game, no. But like this one that didn’t have much game, I should have just given him mid-performance, too. Abi, Is it not meant to be garbage in, garbage out?
Don’t think it should work like that here
Of course, you’d say that. Shebi you are a man like them.
Wow. I’ll chest that one
Oya sorry. But men can be annoying sha, shebi you know that?
Especially those ones that chase and chase only to end up being trash. The worst are the ones that will have the strongest sexting game and the weakest action. Like, what the hell? You sef think am nau. Does that make any sense? They just be making somebody waste body count. I think it’s stupid to be chasing babes vigorously when you know you’re just going to penetrate them with disappointing sex in the end. FFS, Why not just spend that time reading up or watching clips on how to increase your game? Like, who raised you son?!
Wow. I actually don’t know what to say to that
Well, because you know it’s true.
The insane thing is that some don’t even know they’re mid
But it’s actually like that
Sure, I guess. But is that not insane? Walking up and down with a false notion of your own sex game?
Well, if you actually think about it deeply, this sounds very on-brand for men – big ego on very little substance.
Let’s call a spade a spade, please.
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